Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Dissapointment...

~ all i wanted was a little help... is it really that hard? it was the easiest thing... it wouldn't need much time... i never really asked for your help before... in fact up till now i only really ask for ur help twice... and both times you turned me down... trust me, i didn't turn to you the instant i need help... you were my last options... guess in the end... i have to rely on other people during my greatest time of need... pulling favors that would be really hard to repay... guess in the end, i got no one to rely on...

~ whenever you ask for help, i am always there... without fail... never had i asked why or have i ever reprimanded you for ur foolishness... i did all i could to help... sincerely... support, encouragement, time, emotionally, morally... all because i know how it feels like to feel really useless and helpless in certain situation... all because i know how important it is that by the end of the day you know that there is someone that you can really truly rely on...

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Fools...

~ girls are fools... majority of them at least... in fact, 'majority' is an understatement...

~ watching NANA2 and Kimi Wa Petto made me realise (much to my chagrin, even my experience says so) that girls are just a bunch of fools that wouldn't even know if the best things are presented in a gold platter in front of them... fools... hurting people around them without realizing the amount of trauma they will cause... always trying to act noble and nice but in a way its not...

~ i guess guys should grow up to realise that girls aren't worth everything... they aren't...

Lonely

~ lonely... thats what i'm feeling right now... its like suddenly i'm all alone in this world... no one to talk to, no one to be with, no one to hang out with...

~ i just realize that people i call friends are more of an acquaintances than true friends... damn... hahaha so much of a revelation... in a way, its better to know now than to know much latter... so... where are my real friends then... where...

Friday, July 20, 2007

P*SSED!!!

~ oh i'm so pissed lately... everything seems to be going against me... but to top it off, alot of things seem to be getting on my nerves... i wonder why...

~ it seems like i have the same old problem all over again... people seem to judge me by my appearance and presume my characters through things that i do... nobody seem to really care to figure out who i really am... its just, im whoever they thing i am... what kinda shit IS that? just because i DotA alot, rarely attend lectures, dun care shit if i am hanging out with the coolest people or doing the hippest things in town doesn't make me a hopeless and irresponsible fool... i don't do things just because it makes me looks cool, or hang out with the most popular group just to rub off their popularity... dude... that is like so plastic... i hate hipocracy and what less being fake!!!

~ i know very well that i told my cheerleading peeps (not even sure if i should still call them that) that i can't attend the cheerleading practice since i am sick and yet go DotA the very same night... but do you guys not understand that DotA does not involve strenuous workout nor do i need to run around, jump around and sweat till i die? to me DotA is a form of relaxation, i am sick; slept for around the WHOLE day, can't i at least go release some stress... does that make me an irresponsible person? trying to 'relax' when i am sick is uncool? fine!!! then i am an uncool person... so be it!!! i dun f**king care if im uncool but i am NOT f**king irresponsible!!! dun ever say that shit heads!!! if being sick and trying to at least make a bit of a fun out of it is irresponsible then there are a f**king lot of irresponsible people out there!!!

~ dun ever ever try to judge me for what i did without even asking me the reason first... be clever for once and try to at least understand the situation abit before you actually try to be a critique!!! i didn't know shit that the next day will have another cheerleading practice!!! in case you all did not know, i'm STILL sick and i have promised my aunt to run an errand for her that day since like a LONG time ago... and THAT makes me an undedicated bastard??? F**K you!!! if i am an undedicated person where the hell was i when not even one shitheads are willing to be in the cheerleading group in sem3??? WHERE??? where are all those 'dedicated' person when we need them??? all f**king quit on us... we had to beg you guys, run around like dogs, make promises, find people, come out with out own choreograph since no one is willing to help a losing and memberless team!!! WHERE ARE ALL THE DEDICATED BASTARDS BACK THEN!!! i stayed on since the first day i promised to be in it!!! i run around to beg for people to join!!! we need to get seniors to convince all those 'dedicated' people!!! so now that im sick, was on an errand - legit reasons for god sakes - i am UNDEDICATED!!! F**K you!!! F**K you all DEDICATED people!!!

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Complicated

~ things are so complicated nowadays... what happened to those good old days where everything is simple and easily understood? i miss those times... can't anything be simple nowadays?

~ i'm so stressed our recently... i suddenly feel so lonely... i've become so restless... can't concentrate on anything... everything is a blur... nothing seems to be right... what is going on? i feel like sleeping, sleeping and sleeping... forever... and ever... f**k...

~ wargh... i can't even blog coherently anymore... f**k f**k F**K!!!

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Like Shyt!!!

~lately, everything is just not going right for me... everything is just wrong... so wrong... hahaha, i finally updated my blog and the first thing i rant about is how this whole f**king world is going against me... just so like me... isn't this how i started this blog in the 1st place... the only place i can find solace... the only place where i can shout and curse and rant bout any single f**king thing in this whole wide world - the whole wide web in this case... sic - and not have anyone try to make me feel even more worse... guess you all must be wondering why the sudden urge to blog... whats the freaking f**king trauma that i went through to make me want to blog again; to revisit my only haven of solace...

~life is cruel, it has always been... but for some reason, it has always been fair... people tend to interpret life as unfair - f**king unfair in some case- but in truth its always fair... call it karma, call it quantum theory (what the f**k am i talking bout here...) but it has always been so... but why... why... why am i feeling that it isn't... don't f**king tell me coz it is... it isn't... its meant to always be fair... lol... who am i trying to bluff... denial... thats what i'm in now... somehow, i think i have just skipped the few stages of denial and have entered the last stage of it: acceptance... crazy... F**K!!!

Something I did during my Free Time

Double Shock


Some Sleights


I had some free time and this is what I do... Finally updated my post eh... And this is what I give you guys.... Hahahaha.... Good what, at least you all will have some fun time ;p

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Great Teacher Onizuka {GTO}

oh my freaking god... GTO man GTO!!! my all time favourite japanese manga and drama!!! this is the 2nd time i'm watching the japanese real life drama... and i'm still so hooked to it!!! its just so nice... i guess it evoked a very special feeling in me about my high school years... i miss high school... all those stupid things we do; the crazy stuff; the fun stuff; the memorable stuff and not to forget the bad ones, the really bad ones and, and... the sad memories too, the dissapointing ones, the harsh ones, the rude ones, the pain ones... oh man... i miss high school... if i ever have a chance to relive my life once more, i will definately start out during my high school years... oh oh and then there is the basketball session, the futsal session (at that time its still called street soccer), the secret darts session in our photography club room, the what is it called again in malay thing that we kick around which has feathers attached to it session which we have behind our classroom when the teachers are not around... the singing session, the guitar session, the hidding in the prefect's room session... man, the list goes on and on and on... awww... that nostalgic feelings are churning up inside me... gawd... *sic* i'm gona cry... you know, come to think of it, how i wish i have a home room teacher (class teacher in japanese) like onizuka. he will definately increase the fond memories of my high school years by ten folds!!! no, hundred folds even!!! yeah GTO rwaks!!! da best!!! i highly recommend this show!!! i think i might even watch it the 3rd time... the 4th time maybe? hahahaha. oh the youtube finished loading d... gotta go watch my GTO... i know i'm not suppose to be doing this when my EOS is like 12 days away and i like still have 3 systems more to go (translation: 100++ lecture notes to go...) but then again... GTO!!!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Saving Turtles NO More......

my dream of being a hero went down the drain today after receiving an sms from our group leader...... : "keat how, i'm sori, but we can't save turtles no more... its monsoon season at tat time..." curse that bloody monsoon... does it not noe tat we are trying to help preserve some turtles here... god, how can that idiotic monsoon be so selfish... of the 365 days to choose, it purposely chose the time when we are finally gona do something benificial to the lower life forms... poor turtles... who are gona take care of them... those f**king turtle eggs poachers, u better watch out... if i ever find out u tat u did any injustice to my dear turtles... i gona... i gona... sigh, come to think of i can't do shyt... im on the other side of the sea... *looks at the land to air homing missile proped up bside my computer table....* come to think of it, mayb i can ;p *evil laugh*

on a happier note... we have decided to visit taman negara instead, on a 3 day 2 nite trip ;p well, lets jus hope tat it dun rain cats and dogs when we are trekking... den it wud jus wash away all our enthusiam wif it... anyways, i'll jus sit around and be a good boy till i get further notice from my group leader ;p till then....

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Turtle Conservation

yeah, you read it right the first time, its turtle conservation... tats wat i think - still trying to get permission la tu - im gona do for my elective next year: saving the ass of some miserable-sexual-dysfunctional-always-running-away-from-us-evil-human's-wierd
-liking-of-so-called-exotic-food turtles... hahahaha hopefully this heroic escapade is done in Pulau Redang, Terrenganu, and if so, i will be so looking forward to it *carefully packs mines into bag - blast those evil bastards when they try to dig into the eggs im protecting!!! hahahaha die evil humans, die!!!!! - , along wif sniper scope for surveillence purposes* ;p however...... *dramatic pause* if things doesn't turn out as we expected it to, we might end up in some unknown 'pulau' in melaka (or at least i have never heard of that place la... i mean, melaka got 'pulau's wan meh???) *are melaka turtles distant relatives of terrenganu's... hrm... i wonder...*

anyways, it means tat by the time our new semester starts, i will have ample knowledge on turtles and turtle conservation (and hopefully killed enuf evil bastards to earn a medal of honour) to put my frens to shame!!! and hopefully, my kind gesture will have saved the lives of a whole new generations of new turtles to come!!! yeah!!! but then again... its still like a few months to go before my electives *reluctantly takes mines and sniper scope out from bag... shrugs...*

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Break In

13/11/20006, bside overseas' restaurant... my fren's car was broken in and our bags (alvin's/car owner, seb's and mine)were stolen... his front and back door's window was broken and the whole car ransacked... the bloody idiot even tried to steal the built-in radio but luckily he was too noob to do it, or mayb he jus ran out of time to break it out... i lost around rm1000++ worth of valuable - my MD player RM1000++ in retail price + memories from japan (i bought it when i was an exchange student in jap) which is of coz priceless, my deck of red rider bicycle cards which i always use to do card tricks (still in good condition mind you...) + deck guard, which totals up to RM70++, my competition dart set which by the way, which is of my lucky colour blue and weighs 21g (21 is my lucky number) + darts sharperner RM60++, my beloved's harry potter book (order of the phoenix) priceless, which are all, somehow to add to my misery were in my fav quicksilver imitation fake leather bag... dude... serious badluck man... our only consolation is tat my fren, alvin, is able to claim his car's insurance for the damages to his car due to the break in... we actually felt abit guilty as if we had had the decency of actually bringing our bags down, o at least put our bags in his car boot, this might not have happen at all... sigh... well wats done is done... and when he went to report the break in, we were told by the police tat we were not alone, there were several other break ins for the past few weeks at the same place... in fact, sm1 was actually mugged b4 too!!! god, i dun even feel safe at all now... its suddenly so dangerous in this lil place called sri petaling... may the damn idiot who broke into my frens car and stole our stuff burn in hell!!!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Waiting

waiting... waiting for sm1... patiently ;p its 23.36, 12/11/06...

a fren once told me that he hated waiting... he hated the feelings of waiting... but i think we shud be happy about it, coz at least, we have something to wait for, something to look forward to ;p dun we? so lets jus wait wif a open heart ;p

Random Toughts

If you were in a relationship which was bad eventhough u gave everything u had, did everything right and yet u get nothing in return, how would you react in your new relationship? if you were supernice to your ex, but he still treated you like shyt, how will you treat ur current lover? if all your sacrifices were never appreciated and never returned, will you still sacrifice for you new relationship? will you start having inhibitions in your new relationship? will you start treating your new partner with less understanding and love and care and support? will you put in much less than before as you are very afraid you might get hurt again? will you sacrifice much less as you are afraid tat your sacrifices will go unseen and also because you have grown tired of all the pain that always come along with sacrifices, which by now you have wrongfully accused as pain due to not getting due appreciation?

I dun think i will. I think i will still luv my new lover jus as much, mayb even more as im starting afresh. I noe tat i will still sacrifice everything tat is needed as i noe tat everyone is different and tat i shud not let my new partner suffer for the fault of my ex. i am very sure that i do not wish to regret in the future tat i did not treat my new breath of life with all the care and love from the bottom of my heart due to some other ppls' stupid mistake...... I think i will not be changed...... i think, i will still love jus as much, sacrifice jus as much, care jus as much, and give jus as much...... mayb even more...... i guess, this is wat you call love ;p

Saturday, October 07, 2006

New World

i jus stepped into a new world yesterday... it feels different... reli very different... it feel like i jus shedded my skin and when the wind touches my new skin *shudders* it feels so different... at times its so refreshing... sometimes it hurts and stings... sometimes... it jus feels like the good old skin i once had... but its already a brand new world... i feel scared at times... lonely... but never alone... hugs and kisses can cure everything... but when its gone... its scary once more... i appreciate the new lease of life; a new chance at everything once more; the need to work hard for everything once more - starting form step 1 and slowing walking up the stairs, straight to the top and even further... i felt tat i changed... im sure i did... the new skin means more den jus a NEW skin... its signifies much much more... i think i jus grew again... i neve tot i could grow anymore... but i did... i love this new world...i sincerely do... but... the old world i stepped out from... will always remain a part of the chapter of my life... i will always b...

Alot Of Things

alot of things happen lately... everything happen so fast tat sometimes i wonder if everything is jus a dream... good things, bad things, sad things, funny things, queer things, wierd things, uncanny things... it all jus suddenly come kapaam at my face at such speed tat its pain is more den enuf to tell me that its all real... very real... life sucks... i never deny tat... it always has... its a matter of whose life sucks less... thats wat makes every1s life different... to make it even more distict, it is how we perceive all these things tat makes our life even more different... some look at everything in an optimistic way - there is always some good in everything... even those bad things... some look at life in an extremely pessimistic way - everything is a bad thing... *sic*... some... jus couldn't care less - wth-oh-nvm-shrugs-lackadasical attidude... so wat am i? wat kind of person am i? im a bit of the optimistic and jus couldn't care less kinda guy... 50 50 i guess... i can always reason all worries away, look at all the bright side of everything and give a good laugh at anything at all... but sometimes, when times get really hard... all i need is to tell sm1 about it and poof all my worries and heart ache would b gone (thanks HAMSTER!!! u da NOT so usual hamster la!!! da BEST!!!) i guess this is how life goes... abit of everything to spice things up... and i can only live life 1ce so wat the heck, lets not regret anything!!! cowabanga!!! *eek, damn random*

Friday, September 08, 2006

Got "Tapao"ed

sigh.... yesterday, i got tapaoed in pool. it was for our imu cup match against the sem5..... and i got tapaoed nicely. yeah the person up against me is my neighbour... lol, he is good but dude, i got tapaoed.... and i even acciddentally hit the cue off the table.... something oni a noob wud do.... god.... y does all of this have to happen in 1 go........ in a competition summore....... it mus b coz i cut my hair......... so short............ i hate u hairdresser!!!! i HATE u!!!! sob sob.......

Love At First Sight

have you ever look at some1 of the opposite sex and at that particular moment realise that he or she is THE one? have you ever meet sm1 of the opposite sex that after one glance and your heart is fluttering? dude...... love at first sight.... some debated on wether it even exist and if it does will they ever proceed to be a couple. and yeah, it is always those hollywood love stories that revolves around a theme like this..... but seriously, have u ever experience love at first sight? ever? what did you do then when u found your love at first sight? how did it progress? these are some really interesting question that i would like to ask. short blog? neh, jus straight to the point!!!

Softener

"what the hell do i use that for?" 2 days before, if you would have asked me to use a softener on my laundery, thats most probably the answer which you are gona get from me. no pun intended but who uses a softener dude? i mean i dun even noe how does a softener looks like o how does it smell like wat more y should i use it??? neh, till now i still have no idea what a softener is used for apart from the fact that it will soften the clothes you wash but i DO now noe how is smells like and it smells FREAKING good!!!!!! god, if it wasn't because of my kind gesture to borrow my jacket to 1 of my juniors after our telematch (for her to wear and cover her extremely dirty body full of eggs, flour and marjerine) i will never have known that softener smells SO good!!!! crap, in fact i might have gotten addicted to that smell!!!

when i first got my jacket back - in a cute brown paper bag dotted with teddy bears wearing different kinds of clothings - i was wondering where the hell did that wonderful fragrance came from.... it was not until i took my jacket out, and smelt it did i finally found out that it was MY jacket..... yeah, i have to emphasize: on the MY jacket..... lol, never have any of my clothings smelt so so so FREAKING nice.... i mean i do wash them regularly but oni wif dynamo and well..... dynamo dun exactly have that really nice smell......... and after being introduce to smell of the softener.... it never will ever smell good anymore ;p hahahahaha but dude... softener dude........ the next time i go to do my shopping, i will make sure i buy 1 and erm, yeah i will jus have to phone my junior up to ask her which brand her family uses ;p hahahahahaha